Gone Home: Back on Steroids.

1 step forward, 3 steps back. I was told that being off the steroids I would be tired and lose my appetite of which neither happened. I was not told that I could also experience headaches that would be so painful that the my tears and cries at 140dB (that of a jet airplane) sounding of a wild cat or dog would keep me from experiencing any peace at all. (The pain would keep me from peace, the cries would keep everyone else from peace!) This was my Tuesday night. In addition to the tears and cries I vomited 3 times. Every time I rolled over to my right side seeking relief from laying on my left side I experienced instant vomiting. Didn't make sense because I wasn't feeling nauseous. I was on steroids to reduces swelling which says being off the steroids would produce swelling, not limited to but including my brain. This is their explanation for me. My cries continued though out the night and ended with today not moving out of my bed until 8. Cathy stayed by my side throughout the entire night coaching me through deep breathing which offered momentary relief. I attempted to turn my cries in to praise to our Maker. My lyrics, melody and tune did not impress Cathy -- she immediately offered to put in a praise CD for me! Ah, the love only from a sister :) I have no idea how the heroes like Stephen and countless others endured the pain. Praising God, thanking Jesus, and experiencing pain in a moments time seems like a miracle of it's own. One step forward. After being in bed all day the idea of sitting up with the family to eat and even write intimidated me. I'm thankful that Cathy and Cindy took that intimidation away. This tiny success will make my tomorrow easier. I have my first visit with my PT at 11:30.