Have I been naive? Have I been ignorant?

...or is my child-like faith that has kept me from acknowledging the severity of my prognosis? I've known that I have tumors along my spine, in my lung and on my brain. As far I've been concern whatever has been seen I've been believing that God's healing is manifesting already and His timing is producing patience. All that to say, when the radiologist told me that my doing the radiation to the brain will extend my life from 3 months to perhaps a year...hmm...I listened to his words and rejected them. Not that I'm scared to go, I hear heaven is a pretty sweet place -- it's just not my time :) "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matt 6:34 All that to say, the clinical trial is not an option for me at this time because of the steroids / headaches. My oncologist has pushed me into the hands of the radiologist. His interest in my well being is in question now that I'm not a worthy candidate for his study. The radiologist was shocked to hear that I've been sitting on this diagnosis with no treatment to the brain. I'm quiet certain the delay has been to get me in the trial and now that I'm not a viable candidate he has released me to receive the traditional treatment. I'm scheduled to start radiation tomorrow, Happy Birthday to me :)