August 21, 2008 Update.

This morning was rough and the day added despair, ended with a prayers that reopened my heart to the presence of God. Basically the morning started with me waking to a folly bag (for my urine) not working which meant that my bladder was holding it (one of my body's function that needs to be retrained!). I was in PAIN! All you holders out there - let it flow, for my sake :) After a 30 minute episode of attempting to communicate with the nurses and finally a doctor I screamed I HAVE TO PEEEEE! I don't know how much more clear I could have been but perhaps I was speaking in tongues?! The doctor came in wanting to give me meds for my stomach pain ... no written comment needed on her...this blog is rated G. So, my bladder which is MAXED at approximately 1000 was holding on to almost 1400! Insane pain. During breakfast my doctor came in and told me that the lung CT scan did find a small leisson. Not news I wanted. I cried during my transportation (they bring me down to the basement on a bed) to radiation and the RT department just let me cry -- thank you! They are so nice to me, beautiful people. Later OT (occupational therapy) came and wiggled my legs for exercise, or at least that's the extent of what I felt it was worth. Pat & Cathy & dad came out with clothes for me to wear during the day. The rehabilitation I guess frowns on hospital gowns, huh?! JK. My first impression of this new wing of the hospital was petrified. At least this shared room has an empty bed next to me, thank you Jesus! The walls of my world shrunk, my hearts pound echoed louder and my thoughts were cages by hopelessness. We took a wheelchair outside and my world was reopened back up to me. The day ended late after the hustle of moving and a well needed and much appreciated shower. Yeah! I think that's it, for now.